Stress.

Why do mac's only have one mouse button!?

I'm USUALLY an extremely stress free person. I'm very good at handling stress, by focusing on what isn't stressful about a situation, and keeping my cool. Well, like I said, I'm back in school. I'm taking a health and wellness class and for the final I decided to to an essay on Psoriasis. I figured, it was the perfect thing to do an essay on, since I already know the most about it, I have it, and it would be CAKE, right? Well It's due in about just under 2 weeks and I started to think, about how once I'm up there in front of my entire class, talking about it, everyone will know what I have and then go home and google it maybe. Not sure if you ever googled psoriasis but that shit ain't pretty. Considering my psoriasis looks 200% better than ANY of the pictures that come up, it's still stressful for me to think all of my classmates seeing all of these horrifying photos and immediately thinking about me. That is pretty much the exact opposite of what I want anyone to think about me. So this kind of stress is getting to me. I could just focus on the clear fact that there is like a 95% chance I will never see any of these classmates again in school, considering the particular class I'm taking isn't really part of any bachelor or AA degree, it's kind of a niche class, that doesn't exactly fall under elective choice, or required class for any degree. So pretty much everyone whos taking it is taking it because all their other elective choices were full, or they are taking one of the rare few certificates that require it, like the Wilderness skills certificate, the one I'm taking.

Living with the beast.

So for my health and wellness class, I have to write an essay on a disease or disorder of my choice, so naturally I chose to write it on Psoriasis. I've been thinking about what that entails though. As much as I want to raise awareness about psoriasis, standing up in front of my entire class and talking about scabbed lesions and living my embarrassing lifestyle with psoriasis doesn't sound very healthy for my self conscience. When it's likely that there are hardly any people in the class who realize I have psoriasis, it would make them more aware of my situation and I dunno, it just feels like, why would I want to bring more attention to my problem when my entire goal every day when I wake up before school is basically hiding it? I really don't want to give anyone a reason to google psoriasis and then think about me. I'm so thankful my psoriasis doesn't look nearly as bad as anything I saw on google image search but still, those images are pretty harsh for someone who hasn't lived with or seen what psoriasis looks like.

So I've decided to chose another topic. I have a little less than a month to write it.